Current mood: Floatey
Last night, the spirit of Salvador Dali appeared to me in a dream, in which he implored me to do more to support the consumer economy.
Dali: James! I come with a prophesy of Doooooom!
James: What!? Huh? What is happening to me? Where did you come from? Am I dreaming?
Dali: Not a deam, James. This is a vision! I come to you with a dire warning!
James: What must I do to save myself, oh Salvador Dali?
Dali: You need to drink more Sprite™! Spriiiiiiite™!
Dali: You have been drinking water! I have been watching you from the spirit world, and all you drink is water!
James: That’s not true! I drank a glass of Strawberry/White-Cranberry last night. That isn’t water!
Dali: Your roommate purchased that! it doesn’t count.
James: So what is the big deal? What is wrong with water?
Dali: When you buy Sprite™, you support the Coca-Cola™ corporation, and stimulate the economy. Only by purchasing expensive sugary artifical beverage-flavoured drinks can we ensure the financial stability of the American economy for future generations!
James: Um… I don’t think th–
Dali: Think of the children!
James: But, I–
Dali: Think of the children!! (shakes fist)
James: But I drink bottled water! I pay for it. Doesn’t that stimulate the economy too?
(Salvador Dali emits a piercing shriek, and his head spins around on his neck)
Dali: Heretic! I saw you! I watch you! I have seen what you do!
James: No! That’s impossible! You can’t know that!
Dali: Yes, I have seen it! You purchased one bottle of Dasani™ purified water back in 2002, and you have been re-filling it from the tap ever since!
James: (screams) It’s true! I’m sorry, Salvador Dali! Have mercy on me!
And then I woke up in a cold sweat.