"Keep well away from Squid" " Oil. It contains poison" " from squids and other slimy" " vemomous beasties. Drinking" " it will really up your" " chances of croaking." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Well, how goes the" " health food buisness?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Quite well, thank you, but" " I would prefer you use the" " politicaly correct term:" " Dietary Statistics." "My profession has more to" " do with mathmatics than" " with nutrition. After all," " who else could calculate" " that your chances of being" " regular increase 15.23%" " with each bran muffin you" " eat in an hour." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Youre the expert around" " here, will you give me" " some advice about food?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Certainly, Bob, what do" " you want to know?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Ill catch you later." " Dont eat any stale" " rice cakes!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Hi there!" " What is" " your name?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Today we are" " Elmo." "We have many" " personalitys." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Today we are" " Fredrick." "We have many" " personalitys." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Today we are" " Napoleon." "We have many" " personalitys." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "You are NOT" " Napoleon! I" " have seen his" " picure before." "He wears a " " silly hat and" " puts his hand" " in his coat." " You arent even" " wearing a" " coat!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Today we are" " Gertrude." "We have many" " personalitys." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Today we are" " King Henry VIII" "We have many" " personalitys." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Henry the Eighth I am, I am!" "Henry the Eighth I am!" "I got married to the widow" " next door," "Shes been married seven-" " times before!" "And every one was a Henry too!" "Henry the Eighth I am!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Dont make fun of us." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Today we are" " Lenny." "We have many" " personalitys." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Today we are" " Captain Peacock." " A floor manager" " at Grace brother's" " department store." "We have many per-" " sonalitys." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Ahoy there" " matey!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "You look like" " a sailor!" "What ship do" " you sail with?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Aye, a swabbie" " I be, on Capt'n" " Dog-Ear's" " frigate." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "What is a" " frigate?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "It be a ship," " matey. Argh!" " A ship what" " sales the" " seven seas." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "What is your" " captain like?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Argh! On all the" " sea, a saltier" " salt than he I" " never did see." "Capt'n Dog-Ear" " is the best sea" " capt'n since" " the invention of" " the rudder!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Is there a way" " that I can" " get a ride on" " your ship." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Aye, Capt'n Dog-" " Ear always takes" " on passengers." " Ye can buy pass-" " age in the" " Tavern" "The price be a " " bit steep for" " some though." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Are there" " really seven" " seas, or is" " that just a" " figure of" " speech?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Aye. Seven thar" " be. The Atlantic" " sea, the Pacific" " sea, the Medit-" " erainian sea," " the Artic sea," " the Indian sea," " the North sea," " and ... Um..." " the C++" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "What exactly IS" " a rudder?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Arrgh! Your a" " landlubber I" " see. The rudder" " be that wooden" " thing that we" " uses to steer" " the ship." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Avast, ye" " lubber!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "I take it that" " this building" " is the local" " tavern." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "The Tavern" " it be! The" " best place" " to drink" " grog, and" " swap tall" " tales!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Whar be-" " I mean," " where are" " the other" " ports you" " sailors" " sail to?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Arrgh!" " Ports thar" " be! We sail" " to the main-" " land, to" " the Isle o" " the Eminent," " an to the" " Gallopig" " forest." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "What is the" " destination" " of your next" " voyage?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Aye, afore long" " well hoist the" " mizzenmast an" " set sail for" " the Isle o the" " Eminent." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "What is a" " mizzenmast?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Ye scurvey" " fool! dont" " ye know the" " mizzenmast" " be the mast" " in the" " middle?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Walk in all directions" " using the arrow keys," "" " ^" " < >" " |" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Press the space bar" "" " [SPACE]" "" "to attack. Holding" " the space bar will" " charge your weapon" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" " [ALT]" "allows you to" " strafe," " [ENTER]" "accesses the " " status menu" " and confirms" " choises." " [ESC]" "accesses the" " save menu" " and cancels" " choises." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "What on earth" " are you talk-" " ing about?" "Are you some" " kind of wacko?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Life is but a screen," " and its people" " merely sprites." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Why do you" " sit here in" " the tavern" " all the time?" "To swap tales?" "For the grog?" "Why?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Argh! ye want" " to know why" " we swabbies" " sit here in" " the tavern?" " Its acause we" " is to tiered" " to stand here" " in the tavern!" "" "Har! Har! Har!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Can I hear some of" " your tall tales?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Aye, Ill tell ye about the" " time we was boarded by the" " Pirates of Penance." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Wait, dont you" " mean Pirates of" " PENZANCE, not" " penance?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Nay, who be telling this" " tale, ye or me?" "They was the Pirates of" " Penance. A bunch o" " seafaring monks they" " was. A bloodthirsty lot." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Anyways, we was boarded, by them" " pirate monks, an they was gonna" " keelhaul capt'n Dog-Ear. Well," " the only-" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Excuse me, but" " what does " " 'keelhaul'" " mean?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Argh! Ye be very rude to" " interupt me! I can either" " tell ye about keelhauling" " or I can tell ye my tale." " Which shall it be?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Keelhauling be whar ye string" " a rope under the keel- that" " is, the underside o the ship," " an the ye ties one end o the" " rope to some swabbie's ankle," " and yank on the other end o" " the rope." "The poor swabbie gets dragged" " under the ship an gets a nice" " taste o the barnicles." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Hmm... Whar was I... ah, yes" " them thievin monks was" " going ta keelhaul capt'n" " Dog-Ear. So natrly, we boys" " drew our cutlasses and" " again to fight back." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Them monks be powerfull good sword-" " fighters, an we wouldve been beat," " but capt'n DogEar, smart salt that" " he is, starts singin a hymn. Well" " those monks joined right in singin" " acause thats what monks do. Now" " if ye have ever tried to sing and" " duel at the same time, youd know" " it cant be done. After that, it" " was a snap to win the battle." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Bye now." " Try not" " to get" " any grog" " up your" " nose." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Aaaarrgh!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Will you tell me" " a tall tale of" " the sea?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Arrgh! Id love to!" "Let me tell you" " about the time I" " saw the white" " whale." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "It was a dark" " and stormy" " night, and it" " was my turn to" " stand watch on" " the poopdeck." " I-" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Hey! watch" " your mouth!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "What?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" " You said:" " 'Poop deck'!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Arrgh!" " whats wrong" " with that?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Its very" " rude!" " Children" " might be" " playing!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "What gives you" " the right to" " go around" " saying nasty" " things like" " 'Poopdeck'?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Arrgh! Ye fool" " lubber! Thar" " aint nothing" " rude about the" " word 'poopdeck'" "" "That be the name" " o a raised deck" " at the back o" " the ship!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" ".... Oh" " Sorry." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "How come you" " swabbies keep" " saying 'ARRGH!'?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Arrggh!" "" "Arrgh is what" " we says, cause" " Arrgh is what" " we means!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "AAaarrgh!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Arrrggh!!!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Arrgghhh!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "ARRGH!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Im glad we have" " had this little" " chat." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Halt! None" " may enter " " the royal" " SPAM depot" " without" " express" " written" " consent" " of the" " Eminent." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Why is it so" " important" " to guard " " this SPAM" " depot?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Are you kidding?" " SPAM is the" " lifeblood of" " our economy! If" " the Doughnut" " Mafia got their" " hands on this" " stash, heads" " would roll!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "I got this paper" " from the Eminent." " Can I go in?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "GadZooks! You" " must be" " somebody very" " important!" " I am sorry I" " stopped you!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Help yourself" " to anything" " in the de-" " pository..." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "...Except my lunch!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Go away you" " loser!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "How dare you" " insult me!" "Im insulted!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Ha! I dont even need" " to insult you! Your" " own existance is an" " insult to yourself!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "What do you think" " about the Eminent?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "The Eminent is a" " big fat jerk!" " Hes almost as" " dumb as you!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "What do you think" " about the Doughnut" " Mafia?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "I scoff at the Doughnut" " Mafia! (scoff!scoff!)" " What a bunch of morons!" " especialy that goon," " Guido!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "I happen to work" " for the Doughnut" " Mafia." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "You also happen" " to be a pathetic" " liar." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "You are rude. not" " like that polite" " hamster." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Augh! Dont remind" " me of that noxious" " goody-goody NICE" " hamster! He acts" " all polite just to" " annoy me! Passive" " agressive! Passive" " agressive!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Hi there! you look" " spiffy today!" "Im happy that you" " are spiffy." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Umm... Nice to " " see you too." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Isnt its a great" " day today?" "Everyone feels" " spiffy on a" " great day!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "I hate to break this" " to you, but it is" " not a great day" " right now. It is" " the middle of the" " night." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "What do you think" " of the Doughnut " " Mafia?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "They should be" " pitied, not" " hated! I am" " sure that they" " only commit" " crimes because" " society has" " driven them to" " it!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "I prefer to" " think that we" " commit crimes" " for the sake" " of lots and" " lots of money!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Have you talked" " to that really" " rude hamster?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "I HAVE met that" " poor soul!" "Well, you cant" " blame him. He" " had a terrible" " childhood." "He had to put" " up with his" " brother." "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Why is that so bad?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Well, Im his" " brother!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "MMMff! Go away!" " I am busy" " mopeing!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Do you enjoy" " being a" " hermit?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "No! It is mizerable!" " Thats the point!" " The whole idea is" " not to have fun!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "What does" " 'Trogolodyte'" " mean?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "How am I supposed" " to know? Just" " because I am one!" "Sheesh! some " " people!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Why did you" " give up the" " outside" " world?" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "Outside world?" " What is that?" " I dont know" " anything " " about an out-" " side world!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "HEY! I said" " not to come" " in here! " "Are you trying" " to steal my" " gold!?!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "This is the End " " of the Demo." "" "If you havent done" " so already, read" " CHEATS.TXT for" " the cheat codes." "" "Feel free to roam" " around the un-" " finished parts" " of the game!" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" "" ""