{"id":13,"date":"2005-04-11T12:53:18","date_gmt":"2005-04-11T20:53:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hamsterrepublic.com\/james\/?p=13"},"modified":"2007-10-11T15:36:28","modified_gmt":"2007-10-11T22:36:28","slug":"aaa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/?p=13","title":{"rendered":"Salvador Dali sez: “Drink Sprite!”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Current mood: Floatey<\/em><\/p>\n


\nLast night, the spirit of Salvador Dali<\/a> appeared to me in a dream, in which he implored me to do more to support the consumer economy.<\/p>\n

Dali<\/strong>: James! I come with a prophesy of Doooooom!<\/em><\/p>\n

James<\/strong>: What!? Huh? What is happening to me? Where did you come from? Am I dreaming?<\/em><\/p>\n

Dali<\/strong>: Not a deam, James. This is a vision! I come to you with a dire warning!<\/em><\/p>\n

James<\/strong>: What must I do to save myself, oh Salvador Dali?<\/em><\/p>\n

Dali<\/strong>: You need to drink more Sprite\u2122! Spriiiiiiite\u2122!<\/em><\/p>\n

James<\/strong>: What?<\/em><\/p>\n

Dali<\/strong>: You have been drinking water! I have been watching you from the spirit world, and all you drink is water!<\/em><\/p>\n

James<\/strong>: That’s not true! I drank a glass of Strawberry\/White-Cranberry last night. That isn’t water!<\/em><\/p>\n

Dali<\/strong>: Your roommate purchased that! it doesn’t count.<\/em><\/p>\n

James<\/strong>: So what is the big deal? What is wrong with water?<\/em><\/p>\n

Dali<\/strong>: When you buy Sprite\u2122, you support the Coca-Cola\u2122 corporation, and stimulate the economy. Only by purchasing expensive sugary artifical beverage-flavoured drinks can we ensure the financial stability of the American economy for future generations!<\/em><\/p>\n

James<\/strong>: Um… I don’t think th–<\/em><\/p>\n

Dali<\/strong>: Think of the children!<\/em><\/p>\n

James<\/strong>: But, I–<\/em><\/p>\n

Dali<\/strong>: Think of the children!!<\/strong><\/em> (shakes fist)<\/p>\n

James<\/strong>: But I drink bottled water! I pay for it. Doesn’t that stimulate the economy too?<\/em><\/p>\n

(Salvador Dali emits a piercing shriek, and his head spins around on his neck)<\/p>\n

Dali<\/strong>: Heretic!<\/strong> I saw you! I watch you! I have seen what you do!<\/em><\/p>\n

James<\/strong>: No! That’s impossible! You can’t know that!<\/em><\/p>\n

Dali<\/strong>: Yes, I have seen it! You purchased one bottle of Dasani\u2122<\/a> purified water back in 2002, and you have been re-filling it from the tap ever since!<\/em><\/p>\n

James<\/strong>: (screams) It’s true! I’m sorry, Salvador Dali! Have mercy on me!<\/em><\/p>\n

And then I woke up in a cold sweat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Current mood: Floatey Last night, the spirit of Salvador Dali appeared to me in a dream, in which he implored me to do more to support the consumer economy. Dali: James! I come with a prophesy of Doooooom! James: What!? Huh? What is happening to me? Where did you come from? Am I dreaming? Dali: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,4,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dreams","category-nonsense","category-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}