The blasphemer who created this game has updated it yet again! That makes twice in one month, and now this farce contains even more Hamster-Triumphing-Over-Bacon mockery.<\/p>\n
I was willing to overlook the old 2009 version of this game, since its lack of a real save-game feature made it unlikely that any player would progress far enough to permit the player to complete the desecration of the image of my Thinly-Sliced-Pork-Lord.<\/p>\n
Here is a short list of the new outrages committed by the new version of this game:<\/p>\n
=NEW FEATURES=
\nSave-game support!
\nSound Effects
\nDifferent colors for each floor
\nNow has a “good ending” and a “bad ending” depending on whether you save-scum
\nYou can make donations from the main menu<\/p>\n
=NEW ITEMS=
\nChalk (draw permanent marks on the floor)
\nJiffy Potion (fast walking for a limited time)
\nScroll of Repel (drive away enemies for a limited time)
\nMaul of Wall-Whacking (breaks cracked walls)
\nScroll of Telepo (Teleport)
\nWavy Sword<\/p>\n
=NEW ENEMIES=
\nMonocular Blarb
\nMeat Man
\nCrypt Yuk
\nJelly Coiler
\nDoom Sponge<\/p>\n
=BALANCE=
\nRebalanced enemies (slightly easier)
\nBuffed the Scroll of Burning
\nSlightly reduced the size of the two largest dungeon levels
\nFixed Soma potion to work properly<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Please join me in NOT playing this game.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Siiiiiizle! Siiiiiiizle! I am the high priest of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Cooked-At-Less-Than-144-Degrees-Fahrenheit. I am here to decry the heinous heresy against my dark and salty master. (Windows Version) (Mac Version) (OUYA Console Version) (Zip File) The blasphemer who created this game has updated it yet again! That makes twice in one month, and now this farce contains even […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,5,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-games","category-hamster","category-nonsense"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=216"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/216\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":219,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/216\/revisions\/219"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}