{"id":51,"date":"2005-07-15T12:38:31","date_gmt":"2005-07-15T20:38:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hamsterrepublic.com\/james\/?p=51"},"modified":"2007-10-11T15:53:02","modified_gmt":"2007-10-11T22:53:02","slug":"trading-my-death-in-for-a-puppy-need-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/?p=51","title":{"rendered":"Trading my Death in for a Puppy (Need Advice!)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Current mood: Delighted<\/em><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/gilgamesh.hamsterrepublic.com\/albums\/Sketch\/death_threat_puppy.png\" style=\"margin: 1em; clear: left; float: left\" \/><br \/>\nI have recently come in to a nearly limitless supply of DEATH.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, that is right! For the past few weeks I have been banking a large number of really high quality death-threats, including &#8220;<span style=\"color: red\">I&#8217;ll Kill you!<\/span>&#8220;, &#8220;<span style=\"color: red\">Your&#8217;e gonna die!<\/span>&#8221; and the ever-popular &#8220;<span style=\"color: red\">Oh, you want some <em>death<\/em>, don&#8217;t you?!<\/span>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>So I was thinking about what I am going to do with all these death threats, and I decided that the best thing would be to <strong>Trade them in for a Puppy<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>This picture here is a quick sketch of one I was looking at in the pound this morning. I don&#8217;t quite have enough* death threats to afford him yet, but they promised to hold him for me until the end of the month.<\/p>\n<p>Isn&#8217;t he cute? Do you think I am making a good choice? I am thinking of naming him <strong>zippy<\/strong>. Anybody got any other suggestions?<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p> <small>* <em>Technically, I do already have enough death to trade afford the puppy, but some of the death threats I have received were accompanied by actual strangulation attempts, and as such, they have too much sentimental value for me to just trade them away. As you all know, <strong>a strangle is just a hug, aimed a little too high.<\/strong><\/em><\/small><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Current mood: Delighted I have recently come in to a nearly limitless supply of DEATH. Yes, that is right! For the past few weeks I have been banking a large number of really high quality death-threats, including &#8220;I&#8217;ll Kill you!&#8220;, &#8220;Your&#8217;e gonna die!&#8221; and the ever-popular &#8220;Oh, you want some death, don&#8217;t you?!&#8221; So I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-51","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nonsense"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=51"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=51"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=51"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=51"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}