{"id":55,"date":"2005-08-02T12:53:17","date_gmt":"2005-08-02T20:53:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hamsterrepublic.com\/james\/?p=55"},"modified":"2007-10-09T21:27:13","modified_gmt":"2007-10-10T05:27:13","slug":"pink-elephant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/?p=55","title":{"rendered":"Pink Elephant"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/gilgamesh.hamsterrepublic.com\/albums\/Sketch\/pink_elephant.png\" style=\"margin: 1em; float: left\" \/><br \/>\nBehold! I am Elephim; the Great Pink Elephant! Patron Saint of Raspberry Shnapps, and Guardian Angel of those who, thanks to high tolerance and body-mass-index, remain sober enough to drive home safely, yet are just drunk enough to fail a breathalyzer test! Those who honor me may do so by over-tipping your barmaid! Those who worship me may do so by driving a stolen tractor through your neigbor&#8217;s cactus-patch at 2:15 AM while singing <em>How Dry I Am<\/em> off-key and dischaging a firearm into the air. To know me is to love me, and to love me is to not remember who has your keys in the morning.<\/p>\n<p>It will rain today. Your lucky numbers are <strong>3, 118, 4, 5, 6<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Behold! I am Elephim; the Great Pink Elephant! Patron Saint of Raspberry Shnapps, and Guardian Angel of those who, thanks to high tolerance and body-mass-index, remain sober enough to drive home safely, yet are just drunk enough to fail a breathalyzer test! Those who honor me may do so by over-tipping your barmaid! Those who [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-55","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nonsense"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=55"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=55"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=55"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/james.hamsterrepublic.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=55"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}