Archive for the ‘hamster’ Category

A word from the High Priest of the Cult of Baconthulhu

 Posted by James Paige on December 23rd, 2013

Siiiiiizle! Siiiiiiizle! I am the high priest of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Cooked-At-Less-Than-144-Degrees-Fahrenheit. I am here to decry the heinous heresy against my dark and salty master.

(Windows Version) (Mac Version) (OUYA Console Version) (Zip File)

The blasphemer who created this game has updated it yet again! That makes twice in one month, and now this farce contains even more Hamster-Triumphing-Over-Bacon mockery.

I was willing to overlook the old 2009 version of this game, since its lack of a real save-game feature made it unlikely that any player would progress far enough to permit the player to complete the desecration of the image of my Thinly-Sliced-Pork-Lord.

Here is a short list of the new outrages committed by the new version of this game:

=NEW FEATURES=
Save-game support!
Sound Effects
Different colors for each floor
Now has a “good ending” and a “bad ending” depending on whether you save-scum
You can make donations from the main menu

=NEW ITEMS=
Chalk (draw permanent marks on the floor)
Jiffy Potion (fast walking for a limited time)
Scroll of Repel (drive away enemies for a limited time)
Maul of Wall-Whacking (breaks cracked walls)
Scroll of Telepo (Teleport)
Wavy Sword

=NEW ENEMIES=
Monocular Blarb
Meat Man
Crypt Yuk
Jelly Coiler
Doom Sponge

=BALANCE=
Rebalanced enemies (slightly easier)
Buffed the Scroll of Burning
Slightly reduced the size of the two largest dungeon levels
Fixed Soma potion to work properly

Please join me in NOT playing this game.

DON’T EAT SOAP! An Educational Game Starring Bob the Hamster

 Posted by James Paige on June 6th, 2009

For the 2009 OHRRPGCE 8-bit contest,  I have taken it upon myself to do a public service, and I have created:

DON’T EAT SOAP!

An Educational Game Starring Bob the Hamster

Dont Eat Soap! - main title

Soap is bad for you to eat. It is good for washing your hands, but very very bad for you to put in your mouth. If soap ever accidentally gets in your mouth, spit it out! This game is an educational simulation using the latest in 8-bit gaming technology so that you can experience mouth-related soap accidents from the safety of your living-room without risk
of actual hospitalization.

August 2013 update:

I am please to announce that an updated version of Don’t Eat Soap has been released for the OUYA Console. This new version features 15 new levels (for a total of 40 levels) and 3 new enemies. There are also an assortment of small bugfixes and tiny improvements. Now you can not eat soap in even more style than before!

Remember! This is only a game! Do not try it at home!

Download it here in a ZIP file

Download it here as a Windows Installer

Download it here as a Mac App

This game is also available on the OUYA console!

Bob the Hamster in the Crypt of Baconthulhu

 Posted by James Paige on May 7th, 2009

EDIT (2014): There is a new version of this game available for Windows, Mac, Linux, and OUYA Console! See this post for more info

I made Bob the Hamster in the Crypt of Baconthulhu for the 2009 OHRRPGCE Terrible Games Contest.

EDIT: My game narrowly won first place! See the results here: HamsterSpeak Issue 27

To give you a taste of the game, here is a brief “Director’s Commentary” video of it.

Also, I should note that the youtube video doesn’t do justice to the game’s music. It was composed by John Sebastian Willow, and it really makes the atmosphere.

If you want to try this game yourself, the direct download link is here: http://HamsterRepublic.com/dl/baconthulhu.zip

This zip includes an exe for windows, but the game also runs in Linux, as long as you have the Linux version of the OHRRPGCE.

(Old) Bob the Hamster Sidescroller

 Posted by James Paige on February 12th, 2008


I recently ported some of my ancient QuickBasic code to FreeBasic. One such piece of code was an old unfinished prototype of a Bob the Hamster jump-and-run side scrolling game.

You can download the results here ↵
bob-old-sidescroller.zip

You can move Bob around a single level, and interact with a few objects, although there are no enemies to fight.

This code is notable in O.H.R.RPG.C.E history because, as best as I can remember, it is the first Hamster Republic code to use the multi-directional scrolling code used for the OHRRPGCE’s maps.

I have no plans to finish this code, but I do have another sidescroller in the works

Who Shot Bob the Hamster?

 Posted by James Paige on July 2nd, 2007

Current mood: coma-ey

I was too distraught to post about this earlier, but yes, it is true, somebody has shot Bob the Hamster!

He’s in the hospital right now, in a coma. The details of the attempted assassination are still unclear. Because the Hamster Republic has no standing police force, we are asking the public for help in investigating the crime. You can find details here. Apparently the shooter was arrogant enough to leave a string of cryptic clues to his identity.

ZOMG Knife on a Hamster on a Snake on a Plane!!!!

 Posted by James Paige on June 21st, 2006

Current mood: Rejuvenated

Knife on a Hamster on a Snake on a Plane!!!

I challenge you all to a HAMSTER KNIFE FIGHT!!!

 Posted by James Paige on June 16th, 2006

Current mood: Stabby

Exhibit 1: (Not my artwork, this was a source of inspiration)

Exhibit 2: (Not my artwork. Fenrir-Lunaris drew this. It was a source of inspiration)

Exhibit 3: (Yeah, this one is mine!)

Bob the Fighting Machine will cut you! Ya! Ya! Ya!… Can’t… quite… stand… up… *Rrrgh!*

Need a Hug?

 Posted by James Paige on February 25th, 2006

Current mood: shamelessly self-promoting

I re-colored one of my Bob the Hamster drawings this morning, and slapped it on a couple dozen cafepress products, in order to satisfy your adorable-hamster-apparel needs!

more…

I’m Afraid of Fluffy Sheep

 Posted by James Paige on November 23rd, 2005

Current mood: terrified

Yeah, you know you want one. This is taken from this episode of my rarely-updated Bob the Hamster comic.

Fightin’ Words…

 Posted by James Paige on May 28th, 2005

Current mood: Feisty

Now I am not going to name names, but some people have been going around, acting all tough, talking big, and making threats that I don’t think they are prepared to back up.

I don’t usually say stuff like this, so I am just goin’ to say it once, and say it clear; My hamster can kick your hamster’s ass.

Yes he can, and that is not a threat, it is a promise. My hamster is the baddest rodent this side of the cosmetics testing laboratory, and he don’t take no nothing from nobody nohow.

My hamster knows Kung-Fu, Voodoo too; He looks good… without a shirt… and he’s goin’ out west where they’ll apreciate him!