I was too distraught to post about this earlier, but yes, it is true, somebody has shot Bob the Hamster!
He’s in the hospital right now, in a coma. The details of the attempted assassination are still unclear. Because the Hamster Republic has no standing police force, we are asking the public for help in investigating the crime. You can find details here. Apparently the shooter was arrogant enough to leave a string of cryptic clues to his identity.
Yes it is true. Happyness is a hang-gliding hamster, flying free as a cloud, soaring over ice-capped mountains, then green fluffy forests, then over sun-bleached fields of wheat that spead as far as the eye can see, and finally out over the glistening sparking gemstone-blue ocean. At this point, a cold front being carried by the ocean currents causes the hamster to lose altitude uncontrollably, and he plunges into… er. No! Happy! Happy! Happy! …. um… then at this point, warm updrafts from a warm ocean current carry the hamster to dizzying new heights, and he soars all the way across the ocean, and finally lands in a crowded marketplace in Hong Kong, where in spite of an inability to comminicate verbally with the locals, he manages to trade his hang-glider for a questionably-packaged DVD boxed-set of several of his favorite Anime, before hopping on a cruise-ship back to the states.