James Paige

Current mood: Wise

1. In the first year of the third millinia in the Year of Our Lord, Anno Domino two-thousand-and-one, the Angel of Server Naming Schemes appeared to the Prophet James in a dream and spake to him concerning the naming of servers and workstations, giving unto him the guidance by which servers and workstations would be named in the Kingdom of The Network. And he spake thusly forbidding first the Giving Of Bad Names;
2. Thou shalt in no wise name thy computers for the person who shall use them, for no mortal man may know the future, and the comings and goings of employees, and the changing of their desks and the shifting of their purposes. The computer which upon the morning has been apportioned to Bob in Marketing, when the sun sets shall be used by Frank from Legal. He who names a computer for a person implies a false similitude between human and computer, and makes a mockery of the name of both.
3. Thou shalt in no wise name thy computers for the function they perform, for the very nature of a computer is versatility. Can not the computer designated for e-mail also printeth labels? Can not the server unto which is apportioned the serving of webpages serveth also network applications? He who names a computer for an action implies that the purpose of the computer cannot be changed. This is falsehood.
4. Thou shalt in no wise name thy computers for the location in which they abide, for a network taketh away great distance, and the location of a system matters not. He who names a system for its location denies the Transparency of the Network
5. Thou shalt in no wise name thy computers using numbers for this is dull in the sight of Heaven, and leadeth down the path of ambiguous names. He who nameth with numbers shall be cursed so that he shall have to remember what each of them means. This is no better than the rote memorization of IP addresses, as the heathens do.
6. And the Prophet James trembled in fear, for he had done all of these things, having already broken every one of these Commandments long before the Angel had spoken them, and he cried out in a loud voice, saying; Woe unto me! How then am I to be saved?

The Apocryphal Writings of James – Chapter 4 verses 18 thru 23

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 12th, 2005 at 8:58 am and is filed under nonsense, technomancy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.