Posted by Bob the Hamster on August 24th, 2005

I had a toy rat, and I was on my hands and knees, pushing it around on the carpet like it was walking. The job of the toy rat was to inspect each room for real rats, on the theory that he could empathize with them on their own level.

I pushed open the door of a bedroom. Like everything in the house, the thick dark carpet was dirty and tangled, and the dark wood walls hid the spider webs. This room would have been a bedroom for several children. It was lined with dark wooden bunkbeds along both walls. There were musty blankets, and a few broken toys scattered around the room, and I directed my rat to sniff at these. As I went, I talked to him and for him, discussing the deplorable state of the room.

Reaching the one and only window at the far end of the room, I looked out, and said something to the rat. My voice echoed very oddly.

“Hello?” I said.

“Mwahahahaha!” said the echo, sinisterly.

“Is anybody there?” I asked.

“Mwmhmhm-I’mHererere!” Replied the echo.

I squinted through the stained window, searching for the source of the voice.

“Testing” I said.

“Testinginging” said the echo.

The voice was not coming from outside. It was close by. I looked down, and saw a pipe protruding from the floor near my feet. It was made of rusty metal, and was about five centimeters in diameter, and rose about 30 centimeters above the floor.

I bowed close to it, and asked “Testing?”

“Testinginginging” said the echo, clearly.

“Testing.” I said again.

“TesMwaaahahahahaBloodDeathBlood-od-od-od-ingining” said the echo.

“I think this place is haunted.” I said to the toy rat. The echo whispered at my words.

“Are you a ghost?” I asked.

“AreYHowDareYouAskeMeWhatIAm-ost-ost-ost!” replied the echo.

“Yes, you are a ghost.” I said.

“YesYDeathBloodIWillEatYourSoul-ost-ost-ost!” snarled the echo.

“Psh. No you won’t. You’re just a voice.” I said.

“PshshshshsNoYouWon’tYou’reJustAVoiceoiceoiceoicece…” said the echo, in a frustrated tone.

“This is pretty cool.” I said. “Don’t go anywhere. I want to show my Dad.”

“ThThisIsPrettyCool-ool-ool” said the echo. “D-Don’tNobodyTakeMeSerouslyAnymore-ore-ore-ore…”

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