Salvador Dali sez: “Drink Sprite!”

 Posted by Bob the Hamster on April 11th, 2005

Current mood: Floatey

Last night, the spirit of Salvador Dali appeared to me in a dream, in which he implored me to do more to support the consumer economy.

Dali: James! I come with a prophesy of Doooooom!

James: What!? Huh? What is happening to me? Where did you come from? Am I dreaming?

Dali: Not a deam, James. This is a vision! I come to you with a dire warning!

James: What must I do to save myself, oh Salvador Dali?

Dali: You need to drink more Sprite™! Spriiiiiiite™!

James: What?

Dali: You have been drinking water! I have been watching you from the spirit world, and all you drink is water!

James: That’s not true! I drank a glass of Strawberry/White-Cranberry last night. That isn’t water!

Dali: Your roommate purchased that! it doesn’t count.

James: So what is the big deal? What is wrong with water?

Dali: When you buy Sprite™, you support the Coca-Cola™ corporation, and stimulate the economy. Only by purchasing expensive sugary artifical beverage-flavoured drinks can we ensure the financial stability of the American economy for future generations!

James: Um… I don’t think th–

Dali: Think of the children!

James: But, I–

Dali: Think of the children!! (shakes fist)

James: But I drink bottled water! I pay for it. Doesn’t that stimulate the economy too?

(Salvador Dali emits a piercing shriek, and his head spins around on his neck)

Dali: Heretic! I saw you! I watch you! I have seen what you do!

James: No! That’s impossible! You can’t know that!

Dali: Yes, I have seen it! You purchased one bottle of Dasani™ purified water back in 2002, and you have been re-filling it from the tap ever since!

James: (screams) It’s true! I’m sorry, Salvador Dali! Have mercy on me!

And then I woke up in a cold sweat.

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